Dating · Life

consciously deciding where to spend your energy

It’s 2022. And after what seems like the longest 2 years of life, I think a lot of people are looking to this new year hoping it brings some closure to the disastrous parts of 2020/21…. here’s hoping.

Probably middle of last year I became increasingly aware that so much of the thoughts and things consuming me and my mind were not serving me. The priorities that I have always had got a little distorted, found myself getting sucked into things that I don’t need to focus on and distract me from what really matters. So I’ve been actively really trying to re-focus on what does and not be distracted from all the other things going on.

@wetheurban

One thing I think is incredibly hard about lockdown and COVID is that it has made us all have to sit with ourselves and our own thoughts a whole lot more than many of us have likely been before… and that can be a bit uncomfortable and scary. I know for me, I typically like to fill up my schedule (I’ve learned over the years this is one of the ways I cope in not the healthiest of ways) and keep “busy”. Keeping going seems the easier thing to do because you don’t have to sit down and focus inwards quite as much…. but real growth comes when you take the time to put into yourself, to face and heal from your old wounds, and find that part of yourself that may have been missing for a while.

I saw this one on Instagram ^ and I thought it fit so perfectly for so many people that I know (myself included!) The sooner we realize that our past experiences shape the people we are and our reactions, the more we can do the work we need to in order to show up for the people we care about, and focus our energies in the right place. For a lot of people, that looks like trying to get over a breakup (or non- breakup but loss of any type of relationship with a partner or a friend like described in this post).

One of the biggest things I struggle with is I am very “productivity focused”. I totally “reward” myself with rest when I have accomplished something, and so during the moments where you have little energy to expend (or you just can’t bring yourself to start the To Do list), it is a constant battle in your head of beating yourself up for all the ways in which you haven’t accomplished much or anything at all. One way I’ve been trying to be better about this is setting set times for myself to get up and walk away from my desk throughout the day, to nourish or hydrate myself, stretch, and do one of the nice things in this photo per day. I may not look or feel like the “epitome of wellness” all over Instagram or TikTok (nor do I really think my life will ever realllllly be like that), but it’s a habit I’m not particularly good at so these things take some conscious effort to make habits!

@poets

Social media nowadays can fuel some pretty awful habits and self talk when you start comparing yourself to “everyone else” you see on social media.. it’s a bit of a rabbit hole and I would say one of the things I have noticed most is how much time I waste mindlessly scrolling through everyone’s pages, or getting down the path of a good deep dark social media lurk of someone you haven’t seen in 10 years.

I find myself getting up in the morning, checking everything, wasting time I know I don’t really have, and not being able to do the things I want to to be “productive” because I am exhausted by all the disappointing posts and interactions, comments I see, etc. so – I have shifted my habits. I don’t check my phone first thing in the morning anymore, I am trying to get up and do something positive first. Whether that is working out, making a coffee (depending how I feel or how nice my heated blanket is feeling!) and then reducing my time throughout the day, and putting my phone on DND and trying not to look at least 30 mins before bed. Am I perfect? no… but am I making progress? Absolutely.

There’s a lot of things I’m trying to incorporate into my life this year to make some of these small changes. It’s not everything, I’m not going to turn into an influencer or life coach overnight. But’s progress, and it’s my progress. And the only person I need to compare myself to is myself.

So on that note, I’m going to wrap this up for this week and end off with this little post I thought was pretty fitting. 2022 is going to be a big year I think … not necessarily “amazing”, but big in a lot of ways. One day at a time.

xx- C

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