I really wish that post above didn’t seem so fitting with my life the past while but yet.. here we are….
You’ve probably noticed I was on a bit of a hiatus (sorry guys!) but had some other life things going on the last while that took priority. You know I don’t like to post a lot of personal stuff up on here (for my own privacy and things like insurance, etc etc.) but what I can say it is was not an excellent time- do not recommend! Had some time to spend with my healthcare colleagues on the “other” side of the bed, and boy there is nothing like that to make you reflect on yourself and your own practices (and I had lots of time to be in my own head!)
I will say, that I think this experienced although tough has changed me for the better. It wasn’t easy (and I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like it.. which is saying a lot considering some of my own journey I have been on so far in my life/ health!) but it is certainly nice to have some answers. And the other piece being that I think it really helped to ground me- not only as a nurse, but around what is really important. Realizing that some of the smallest things can make the biggest difference for our patients and their experiences throughout this journey. Never did I think I would need to go through this (especially during a global pandemic… I like to spend as little extra time in the hospital as I can these days!) but I was so grateful for the kindness and compassion everyone showed me-in the hospital, and my peers support alike.
I have a bit of a habit (as many of you know) of filling up my plate and not always taking time to breathe. I like being busy.. but sometimes sitting in the space of where we “are” is important too! It is certainly eye opening to realize you are not invincible, but somewhere there is a balance between pushing yourself and recognizing your own limits too. I am so grateful for everyone’s kind words & love- it was so hard to even keep up with everyone while I was feeling so unwell but please know I appreciate it (and you) so very much!
xo – C